First Few Hours

Last night was one of those nights... ironically enough, today was also one of those days. Angst ridden... as in wanting a vodka tonic at 10:30am. But I made it through the ups and downs and even managed to: get some work done, have coffee with an old friend, lend an ear, plan meetings in Paris and Italy, allow a co-worker to upset me to the point of swearing out loud and slamming the bathroom stall door multiple times while swearing, say hi to my daughter and her best friend, bribe my daughter to clean my bathroom for $20, eat sushi, see a comedy show, celebrate a friend's birthday, go to 3 different bars, miss my train, struggle to find a cab driver that would take me from San Francisco to Oakland, nearly die on the way home, get car sick, finally make it home, and thank my lucky stars.

It's late for me to be up, but without klonopin to help me sleep this week... I am up and down constantly throughout the night. Annoying for sure, but such is life. Not that life is annoying, but the whole sleeping thing - - definitely annoying. I mean, why don't I just get out of bed at 5am when I wake up? So many reasons..... the most recent being that I have better dreams during my morning hours when I'm half awake. Quite delightful, really. I love the first few hours in the morning.... whatever the time might be. I like to spend my first two hours awake, in bed. Today I got a cup of coffee and went back to bed.... best thing ever. I love sleeping after coffee. Half asleep, half awake, crossing over. It's the same on the weekends.... (sadly?)

And now, I will give myself over to the lull of my laptop and a generic foreign film or a really bad B movie to put myself to sleep.... and a beer, perhaps. And a good night.