Bars with purse hooks. Love ‘em. In California, 7 out of 10 bars have purse hooks, according to my unofficial study. I love purse hooks. It’s like the bar is giving me a big hug. Telling me that yes, it’s okay for you to be here. You don’t have to keep your purse hanging over your knee or risk someone stealing it from the back of your chair. The first thing I do when I go to a bar that I haven‘t been to before, is look under the bar for a hook. If they have hooks, I know that I’m home, albeit temporary. I relax. I order a drink - - like I’m supposed to be there. I savor the moment. My moment. After a hard day… after a long night (I tend to go to bars during the day, though in California not a lot of bars open before noon). If they don’t have hooks under the bar I start looking around for other things that are missing in the bar. I start to imagine a very sterile bathroom, with poor, too bright lighting, water splashed all around the sink (you can’t set your purse down in a puddle). I immediately go on the defensive and assume that the bartender is going to be an ass and get annoyed when I tell him/her how to make my drink (I‘m very particular). The music becomes too loud… suddenly my purse hanging over my knee weighs 50 pounds. I could put it on my lap, but the risk of it falling off is too great. Have you ever had the entire contents of your purse spill out onto the dark, spilled-drink soaked floor before? Try looking for your MAC lipstick next to a smelly sneaker and a beer soaked napkin. No thank you. I prefer purse hooks. Purse hooks are simple. Purse hooks are elegant and welcoming. Purse hooks will make me order a second, third and perhaps fourth drink. So come on bars - - not only the remaining few without ‘em in California, but around the country, around the world, give me some hook. I’ll stay longer. I’ll spend more money. I’ll chat up the guy next to me, get him to spend more money and tip you more. And I’ll come back. Again and again, I’ll come back. And every time I do, I’ll sit down, I’ll lean over and look under the bar, and I’ll hang my purse on a hook. Right were it belongs.
